NINE Quickie Reviews

Since I have put this off for so long, these reviews will probably be pretty brief since I have to do all 9 in a row...but here goes:

Salt
Drama
Starring Angelina Jolie, Liev Shreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor
Directed by Phillip Noyce

After being exposed as a Russian spy who is about to kill the president, Evelyn Salt (Jolie) goes on a mission to either clear her name or carry out her intended mission.

One thing I thought was cool about this movie was that for quite awhile we don't know if Salt is "good" or "bad," so I won't spoil it for you. The action is played out quite well, even if a hell of a lot of it is extremely over-the-top and unnecessary. It also isn't a super drawn out action flick, as it slows down quite a few times to fit some storyline in. Overall better than I expected, but not super amazing.

Final Score - 7/10


Inception
Psychological, Action
Starring Leonardo Dicaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Ken Watanabe, Cilian Murphy
Directed by Christopher Nolan

A new technology is invented that lets people share dreams (whether they want to or not). A high-value target is selected for "Inception," using nested dreams to implant an idea in someone's head. That's really the best description I can currently think of.

I'll say this right now, this movie is great, but extremely overrated. It is still #3 on IMDB, but really it probably isn't even in my top 20 of all time...maybe not even top 50, I'm not sure. Anyway, on to what's good about it.
Unlike most movies these days, this one is about the journey, not the destination (*cough*like LOST*cough*) and it is virtually immune to spoilers because even if I told you how it ended, you still probably wouldn't know wtf I was talking about.
The film is extremely psychological, and you need to pay very careful/close attention to catch everything. It is extremely reminiscent of The Matrix in a lot of regards, as dreams are almost like the matrix and the pedestrians in them are like agents.
The cast is great. Leonardo is incapable of bad acting, Joseph Gordon-Levitt again shows his greatness, and Ellen Page works great also, no matter what the idiots on imdb say.
Where the movie lost me was with the military snow base...by that point, I was just wondering when it was going to end because what was currently happening just felt silly. If it wasn't for that, I think this could have achieved a perfect score. Again, sorry if this review is confusing but it's very hard to review without talking about the entire story.

Final Score - 9/10

Halloween II
Horror
Starring Scout Taylor-Compton, Brad Dourif, Malcolm McDowell, Sheri Moon Zombie
Directed by Rob Zombie

Starting the minute the first film ended, this movie shows the aftermath of Michael's killing spree, Laurie's life afterwords, and Michael's return/motive for killing.

It's no secret, this movie doesn't even hold a candle to the first one, so I might as well explain why. First of all, it was PAINFULLY obvious that the beginning was a dream sequence...but it just kept going...and going...and going... Come on, Rob Zombie, the strategy for a good dream sequence is to end it BEFORE the audience knows it's a dream. It seriously went on for like 20 minutes, so it literally felt like the first section of the movie could have been completely eliminated.
Next, the characters changed way too much from the first one. I liked Laurie in the first one with her glasses, sweet personality, and overall quirkyness but in this movie I just wanted her to shut up every time she said anything. She is soooo bi-polar in this she will be screaming and then offering to go party 2 second later. Likewise, Dr. Loomis transformed from interesting psychologist to greedy idiot novelist. That was his entire purpose in the movie: to be a greedy jerk. Finally, Michael was simply a mindless killer, with no traumatized childhood anymore (which was the best part about the first movie).
Overall it was two things: "Watch Michael kill random people for 90 minutes" as well as "Watch Laurie be a hardcore bitch for 70 minutes" and the two segments overlapped into 1 movie.

Final Score - 4/10

Pandorum
Sci-Fi
Starring Dennis Quaid, Ben Foster
Directed by Christian Alvart

Two men wake up from their hyper-sleep pods on a gigantic ship in space. They have no memory of who they are, what their mission is/was, where everyone is, or where they are going. Unfortunately, that is the least of their problems, as hideous mutants are present at every term, as well as the fear of "Pandorum," a psychological disease that effects space travelers.

I don't know how, but this movie flew complete underneath my radar. The only reason I even saw it was because I needed a 5th movie for the "5 movies for $20" deal, and the box looked interesting. That being said, I'm quite glad I impulse-bought it.
If I had to describe the feel of this movie, I'd say The Cave, Alien, and Titan AE got together and made a movie baby using pieces of all three of them. If it had a more successful advertising campaign, I really think this movie could have been a modern-day sci-fi classic, as it was definitely the best one I have seen in a long time.
There's plenty of variety in the movie. Dennis and Ben have to deal with super strong mutants, human cannibals, the ship itself, and the constant fear of falling victim to Pandorum. The storyline has plenty of twists to keep it interesting, and the ending was quite satisfying and...I may even use the word "epic" to describe it. I was really worried because there were about a bazillion cliched ways it could have ended, but they took the satisfying way out.

Final Score - 8.5/10


100 Feet
Independent Horror / Drama
Starring Famke Janssen, Bobby Cannavale, Ed Westwick
Directed by Eric Red

After killing her abusive husband, Marnie Watson is under house arrest in her New York (I think) house and cannot move more than 100 feet away from a monitor box on her second floor. As she tries to get on with a semi-normal life, the ghost of her husband begins to appear to harass her from beyond the grave.

The premise isn't SUPER original, but it goes beyond the normal "haunted house" genre of normal horror flicks. In these stories, the audience usually asks "why don't they just leave??" WELL, she can't!! It sets up for some interesting stuff. While the movie is labeled as "horror" on the box, I'd really call it 50% horror, 50% drama. It is just as much about a woman trying to cope with house arrest after murdering her abusive husband than it is about her being haunted. But don't get me wrong, there is a fair share of grittiness. This isn't just a "boo, I'm scary" ghost... he literally beats the crap out of Marnie a few times, and in one scene COMPLETELY pulverizes someone to a pulp. Someone call Sam and Dean, please.
I was kind of expecting a big twist ending, but it isn't there. Maybe it's for the best though cause it probably would have ruined what turned out to be a pretty decent film. Also for the record, Famke Janssen (Jean Grey from X-Men) is a milf...just though I'd throw that out there.

Final Score - 7.5/10

The Final Destination
Horror / Silly
Starring Bobby Campo, Shantel VanSanten
Directed by David R. Ellis

After a death premonition at a speedway, a guy and some other random people leave and narrowly escape death, only to be systematically killed in horrific accidents afterwords... you know, exactly like the first 3.

This movie is NOTHING new. If you have seen the first 3...or ANY of the first 3, you know what you're getting into. It's basically a movie about watching Death kill people with gravity, wind, well-placed fire, and simple machines. It's entertaining if you're looking for a gore-fest with some very cleverly made accidents, but doesn't have much appeal beyond that.

Final Score - 3.5/10

She's Out of My League
Romantic Comedy
Starring Jay Baruchel, Alice Eve
Directed by Jim Field Smith

Through a serious of random events, a "loser" manages to get into a relationship with an extremely beautiful woman (who is "out of his league"), and both hilarity and conflict ensue with friends and family.
I was a little disappointed that for such a semi-original concept, it still kept the traditional rom-com formula of "they hook up, things go good for awhile but conflict ensues and they break apart. Then they both realize they are idiots and reunite in some glorious fashion." Seriously are there any romantic comedies that don't do this? Also, the movie KEEPS going out of its way to suggest to the audience how hot Alice Eve is....Yes movie, I get it, she is good looking...
The main character's best friend was a major asshole also. Usually with movies like this you get the "comic relief best friend" who is a jerk, but in a hilarious way, but this guy just came off as extremely hateful and hard to like. That being said, the movie was still decent.

Final Score - 6/10

The Book of Eli
Action / Drama
Starring Denzel Washington, Mila Kunis, Gary Oldman
Directed by Albert and Allen Hughes

In a post-apocalyptic world (think 'Fallout 3' / 'Mad Max' Post-Apocalyptia, not 'The Road') a man travels west with a 'mysterious' book hoping to find a place worthy enough to keep it. On the way he encounters highwaymen, bandits/raiders, cannibals, etc.

This movie turned out to be WAY different than I expected, so I don't want to talk about it too much or I may give it away. Denzel is always great, Mila shows she can really act, Oldman shows he is extremely skilled at playing both good guys and villains you love to hate. This world is FAR less depressing than the one of "The Road," but I also thought this was not quite as good as that film. By the way, expect lots of religious themes (not necessarily a bad thing, just be prepared like I wasn't)

Final Score - 7.5/10

Law Abiding Citizen
Action / Thriller
Starring Jamie Foxx, Gerard Butler
Directed by F. Gary Gray

After his wife and daughter are killed by two assailants, Clyde Shelton (Butler) goes on a mission to systematically kill EVERYONE who had the slightest involvement in the system of getting one of the killers a deal.
Overall it is pretty damned entertaining. I wasn't even bored for a minute because it moves so fast. There may be a message about how corrupt our current legal system is somewhere in the movie, but I was too lazy to dig that deeply. I hated Jamie Foxx's character, but Butler's character was awesome enough to make up for it. I wasn't a huge fan of how it ended (in the last few mins), but what can ya do.

Final Score - 8/10