NINE Quickie Reviews

Since I have put this off for so long, these reviews will probably be pretty brief since I have to do all 9 in a row...but here goes:

Salt
Drama
Starring Angelina Jolie, Liev Shreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor
Directed by Phillip Noyce

After being exposed as a Russian spy who is about to kill the president, Evelyn Salt (Jolie) goes on a mission to either clear her name or carry out her intended mission.

One thing I thought was cool about this movie was that for quite awhile we don't know if Salt is "good" or "bad," so I won't spoil it for you. The action is played out quite well, even if a hell of a lot of it is extremely over-the-top and unnecessary. It also isn't a super drawn out action flick, as it slows down quite a few times to fit some storyline in. Overall better than I expected, but not super amazing.

Final Score - 7/10


Inception
Psychological, Action
Starring Leonardo Dicaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Ken Watanabe, Cilian Murphy
Directed by Christopher Nolan

A new technology is invented that lets people share dreams (whether they want to or not). A high-value target is selected for "Inception," using nested dreams to implant an idea in someone's head. That's really the best description I can currently think of.

I'll say this right now, this movie is great, but extremely overrated. It is still #3 on IMDB, but really it probably isn't even in my top 20 of all time...maybe not even top 50, I'm not sure. Anyway, on to what's good about it.
Unlike most movies these days, this one is about the journey, not the destination (*cough*like LOST*cough*) and it is virtually immune to spoilers because even if I told you how it ended, you still probably wouldn't know wtf I was talking about.
The film is extremely psychological, and you need to pay very careful/close attention to catch everything. It is extremely reminiscent of The Matrix in a lot of regards, as dreams are almost like the matrix and the pedestrians in them are like agents.
The cast is great. Leonardo is incapable of bad acting, Joseph Gordon-Levitt again shows his greatness, and Ellen Page works great also, no matter what the idiots on imdb say.
Where the movie lost me was with the military snow base...by that point, I was just wondering when it was going to end because what was currently happening just felt silly. If it wasn't for that, I think this could have achieved a perfect score. Again, sorry if this review is confusing but it's very hard to review without talking about the entire story.

Final Score - 9/10

Halloween II
Horror
Starring Scout Taylor-Compton, Brad Dourif, Malcolm McDowell, Sheri Moon Zombie
Directed by Rob Zombie

Starting the minute the first film ended, this movie shows the aftermath of Michael's killing spree, Laurie's life afterwords, and Michael's return/motive for killing.

It's no secret, this movie doesn't even hold a candle to the first one, so I might as well explain why. First of all, it was PAINFULLY obvious that the beginning was a dream sequence...but it just kept going...and going...and going... Come on, Rob Zombie, the strategy for a good dream sequence is to end it BEFORE the audience knows it's a dream. It seriously went on for like 20 minutes, so it literally felt like the first section of the movie could have been completely eliminated.
Next, the characters changed way too much from the first one. I liked Laurie in the first one with her glasses, sweet personality, and overall quirkyness but in this movie I just wanted her to shut up every time she said anything. She is soooo bi-polar in this she will be screaming and then offering to go party 2 second later. Likewise, Dr. Loomis transformed from interesting psychologist to greedy idiot novelist. That was his entire purpose in the movie: to be a greedy jerk. Finally, Michael was simply a mindless killer, with no traumatized childhood anymore (which was the best part about the first movie).
Overall it was two things: "Watch Michael kill random people for 90 minutes" as well as "Watch Laurie be a hardcore bitch for 70 minutes" and the two segments overlapped into 1 movie.

Final Score - 4/10

Pandorum
Sci-Fi
Starring Dennis Quaid, Ben Foster
Directed by Christian Alvart

Two men wake up from their hyper-sleep pods on a gigantic ship in space. They have no memory of who they are, what their mission is/was, where everyone is, or where they are going. Unfortunately, that is the least of their problems, as hideous mutants are present at every term, as well as the fear of "Pandorum," a psychological disease that effects space travelers.

I don't know how, but this movie flew complete underneath my radar. The only reason I even saw it was because I needed a 5th movie for the "5 movies for $20" deal, and the box looked interesting. That being said, I'm quite glad I impulse-bought it.
If I had to describe the feel of this movie, I'd say The Cave, Alien, and Titan AE got together and made a movie baby using pieces of all three of them. If it had a more successful advertising campaign, I really think this movie could have been a modern-day sci-fi classic, as it was definitely the best one I have seen in a long time.
There's plenty of variety in the movie. Dennis and Ben have to deal with super strong mutants, human cannibals, the ship itself, and the constant fear of falling victim to Pandorum. The storyline has plenty of twists to keep it interesting, and the ending was quite satisfying and...I may even use the word "epic" to describe it. I was really worried because there were about a bazillion cliched ways it could have ended, but they took the satisfying way out.

Final Score - 8.5/10


100 Feet
Independent Horror / Drama
Starring Famke Janssen, Bobby Cannavale, Ed Westwick
Directed by Eric Red

After killing her abusive husband, Marnie Watson is under house arrest in her New York (I think) house and cannot move more than 100 feet away from a monitor box on her second floor. As she tries to get on with a semi-normal life, the ghost of her husband begins to appear to harass her from beyond the grave.

The premise isn't SUPER original, but it goes beyond the normal "haunted house" genre of normal horror flicks. In these stories, the audience usually asks "why don't they just leave??" WELL, she can't!! It sets up for some interesting stuff. While the movie is labeled as "horror" on the box, I'd really call it 50% horror, 50% drama. It is just as much about a woman trying to cope with house arrest after murdering her abusive husband than it is about her being haunted. But don't get me wrong, there is a fair share of grittiness. This isn't just a "boo, I'm scary" ghost... he literally beats the crap out of Marnie a few times, and in one scene COMPLETELY pulverizes someone to a pulp. Someone call Sam and Dean, please.
I was kind of expecting a big twist ending, but it isn't there. Maybe it's for the best though cause it probably would have ruined what turned out to be a pretty decent film. Also for the record, Famke Janssen (Jean Grey from X-Men) is a milf...just though I'd throw that out there.

Final Score - 7.5/10

The Final Destination
Horror / Silly
Starring Bobby Campo, Shantel VanSanten
Directed by David R. Ellis

After a death premonition at a speedway, a guy and some other random people leave and narrowly escape death, only to be systematically killed in horrific accidents afterwords... you know, exactly like the first 3.

This movie is NOTHING new. If you have seen the first 3...or ANY of the first 3, you know what you're getting into. It's basically a movie about watching Death kill people with gravity, wind, well-placed fire, and simple machines. It's entertaining if you're looking for a gore-fest with some very cleverly made accidents, but doesn't have much appeal beyond that.

Final Score - 3.5/10

She's Out of My League
Romantic Comedy
Starring Jay Baruchel, Alice Eve
Directed by Jim Field Smith

Through a serious of random events, a "loser" manages to get into a relationship with an extremely beautiful woman (who is "out of his league"), and both hilarity and conflict ensue with friends and family.
I was a little disappointed that for such a semi-original concept, it still kept the traditional rom-com formula of "they hook up, things go good for awhile but conflict ensues and they break apart. Then they both realize they are idiots and reunite in some glorious fashion." Seriously are there any romantic comedies that don't do this? Also, the movie KEEPS going out of its way to suggest to the audience how hot Alice Eve is....Yes movie, I get it, she is good looking...
The main character's best friend was a major asshole also. Usually with movies like this you get the "comic relief best friend" who is a jerk, but in a hilarious way, but this guy just came off as extremely hateful and hard to like. That being said, the movie was still decent.

Final Score - 6/10

The Book of Eli
Action / Drama
Starring Denzel Washington, Mila Kunis, Gary Oldman
Directed by Albert and Allen Hughes

In a post-apocalyptic world (think 'Fallout 3' / 'Mad Max' Post-Apocalyptia, not 'The Road') a man travels west with a 'mysterious' book hoping to find a place worthy enough to keep it. On the way he encounters highwaymen, bandits/raiders, cannibals, etc.

This movie turned out to be WAY different than I expected, so I don't want to talk about it too much or I may give it away. Denzel is always great, Mila shows she can really act, Oldman shows he is extremely skilled at playing both good guys and villains you love to hate. This world is FAR less depressing than the one of "The Road," but I also thought this was not quite as good as that film. By the way, expect lots of religious themes (not necessarily a bad thing, just be prepared like I wasn't)

Final Score - 7.5/10

Law Abiding Citizen
Action / Thriller
Starring Jamie Foxx, Gerard Butler
Directed by F. Gary Gray

After his wife and daughter are killed by two assailants, Clyde Shelton (Butler) goes on a mission to systematically kill EVERYONE who had the slightest involvement in the system of getting one of the killers a deal.
Overall it is pretty damned entertaining. I wasn't even bored for a minute because it moves so fast. There may be a message about how corrupt our current legal system is somewhere in the movie, but I was too lazy to dig that deeply. I hated Jamie Foxx's character, but Butler's character was awesome enough to make up for it. I wasn't a huge fan of how it ended (in the last few mins), but what can ya do.

Final Score - 8/10

"Eclipse"

Movie Reviewed Today: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Genre: drama / fantasy

Starring: Kristen Stewart
Robert Pattinson
Taylor Lautner

Director: David Slade

The love triangle between Bella, Edward, and Jacob continues, even though the final decision is quite clear. Over in Seattle, someone (who is obviously Victoria) is creating an army of "newborn" vampires with one purpose - to kill Bella.

As suggested in my "New Moon" review, I really think the Twilight series is underrated by its critics but overrated by its fans, and this movie sticks to that claim. It's not *great*, but it is far from unwatchable.

The characters aren't nearly as annoying in this as they were in the previous film. Most of the teen angst is gone except for the love triangle, so no more moping around the house for month after month or anything. I don't know why, but Kristen Stewart looked a lot more like a "real person" than in New Moon. Edward is still an annoying ponce, and Alice & Jacob are still more interesting than the two leads. Not much of a change from New Moon.

One thing I thought was kind of lame was that they completely MADE UP some new vampire "physics" simply for plot convenience.

New vampire physics made up in this movie:

-The "younger" a vampire is (time since being changed = small), the physically stronger they are. Really.....REALLY? Does this mean vampires who are 3000 years old are extremely weak? It really seems like they made up this rule JUST for this one plot point about an army of newborns being dangerous.
-Vampires are all icy on the inside. They never even suggested this in the other two. In this one, when vampires are beheaded, they break apart like ice and all of their interior flesh is hard and clear. Weird.


The action, acting, CG, and plot were better, but I can't shake the feeling that I enjoyed New Moon slightly better....I have no idea why though.

Final Score - 6/10

"Autopsy"

Movie Reviewed Today: Autopsy

Genre: Independent / Horror

Starring: Jessica Lowndes
Robert Patrick
Michael Bowen, Robert LaSardo

Director: Adam Gierasch


After a night of partying at what appears to be Mardi Gras, five friends are involved in a collision with a pedestrian on a quiet secluded road. A mysterious ambulance shows up to collect the pedestrian, and the five are also offered a ride to the hospital to be checked for injuries. They find that the hospital is mostly abandoned, save for a nurse, the two orderlies (Bowen and LaSardo), a doctor (Patrick), and a multitude of strange patients. As the 5 are separated, Emily (Lowndes) notices something is wrong and begins a search for her boyfriend.

First of all, I don't know why but I love the way the opening credits are done. They manage to do three things: set up a back story, credit the cast & crew, and be entertaining. Definitely a good first impression. However, know that the opening is the only back story you are going to get. The credits end with the sound of a car crashing, then the cast gets swept up into the ambulance and the rest of the movie takes place in the hospital.

The cast, for the most part, was pretty awesome. Jessica Lowndes should really be in every movie ever, Robert Patrick is great as always (I think it's just the way he talks that makes him incapable of bad acting), Bowen & LaSardo are amazing as the sinister "orderlies," and that nurse is definitely a character you love to hate for multiple reasons. The rest of the cast play their parts alright, but those five take up most of the screen time.

Be prepared, this film is a gory one (as if the title "Autopsy" didn't let you know that already). There are buckets of blood, a ton of insides coming to the outside, etc. Unlike most horror female leads, Lownes gets BEAT UP a lot and even tortured in one scene by Michael Bowen, though the tables eventually inevitably turn. Movies usually don't bother me, but I definitely felt a little weak at times.

The film creates a pretty eerie atmosphere of a (mostly) abandoned hospital. The braindead patients wandering around are almost like ghouls, though they are mostly harmless, save for one scene. Being that it is a hospital, some of the scenery is repetitive. Some hallways and staircases are basically mirror images of each other: one scene Emily will be running up stairs that curve to the right, and later she will run up what appears to be the same stairs, only they curve to the left. There aren't a ton of "atmospheric" shots of the hallways though, so the repetition is easy to forget.

I did kind of have a problem with the ending...it was pretty unsatisfying. It's one of those "omg, what happens next?" endings, which I like when they are pulled off well. Unfortunately I felt that this one was a little cheesy and a bit of a let down.

Final Score - 7.5/10

"I Sell the Dead"

Movie Reviewed Today: I Sell the Dead

Genre: Independent / Horror / Comedy

Starring: Dominic Monaghan
Larry Fessenden
Angus Scrimm (Credited 3rd but really only has ~30 seconds of screentime)
Ron Perlman

Director: Glenn McQuaid

Faced with his impending execution by guillotine for murder, a grave robber (Arthur Blake - Monaghan) tells tales of his life of crime to a priest (Father Duffy - Perlman) in 1800's England. He describes how he got into the business by following Willie Grimes (Fessenden), who had been executed at the beginning of the film, and multiple misadventures that the two had.

This movie is almost like an anthology...sort of, but more like a frame story with separate sections. The overlying story includes Arthur Blake telling tales to the priest. The stories are almost entirely exclusive of each other, so in reality one could probably skip one or two and still get the major idea (not that I would recommend that). Arthur goes into detail about how he started stealing corpses as a child, but eventually discovered that the REAL money was in trafficking the UNdead.

There are serious moments, but most of it is done in a comedic way that is somewhat of a "grim sitcom" style. Many moments were quite goofy, even if they were dealing with graverobbing and the undead. Without spoiling anything, Arthur and Willie encounter many different..."kinds" of corpses, some of which are quite hilarious. I wouldn't say most of the film is "laugh out loud" funny, but it still has that light tone that will easily hold your interest.

Dominic did a great job, though it took me a little while to shake off his old role of Charlie on LOST. Likewise, Ron Perlman had a pretty convincing Irish accent, and though I never heard of Larry Fessenden before this movie, he had a great "grubby poor english criminal" character. Like I noted in the header, Angus Scrimm is credited third, but he was only present very briefly, though he is quite awesome as the old corrupt doctor.

For an indie film the special effects are pretty awesome. There were some moments were there was an obvious green screen, particularly of the panoramic english countryside at night shots, but for the most part the settings are pretty convincing. There isn't much gore for a movie about stealing corpses, but when there is it is done right.

The ending felt extremely rushed. It seemed like the climax and resolution all happened within the last 60-90 seconds. Also, I can't tell if they were leaving it open for a sequel or if the final message was "and they ran off to have more misadventures forever :D "

While it did take me a little while to get into it, and I do feel conflicted about the ending, it was still a pretty fun film. It is also fairly short and sweet, so it has definite replay value and never drags.

Final Score - 7/10

"Deadgirl"

Movie Reviewed Today: Deadgirl

Genre: Independent / Psychological Horror / Drama

Starring: Shiloh Fernandez
Noah Segan
Candice Accola

Director: Marcel Sarmiento and Gadi Harel

While partying in / trashing an old abandoned asylum, two high schoolers (Rickie and JT - Shiloh and Noah) discover something sealed away in the basement: a naked woman strapped to a table who is alive but appears to be brain dead. Rickie wants to leave immediately and tell someone, but JT suggests they "keep" her, saying that they can "get some" whenever they want with her here. Eventually JT discovers that she cannot die, no matter what he does to her, though Rickie wants no part in this. Over the weeks, friendship, integrity, and sanity are tested as the two try to keep the secret and cover up betrayals.

This movie is quite twisted...no, make that extremely twisted. It constantly asks the question of "would you do this if you could get away with it?" and without spoiling anything, the answer for all characters introduced to the deadgirl is "yes." It shows psychological complexities of what could happen after so many years of abuse and rejection in high school. The deadgirl herself could easily be taken as a symbol for something more, especially addiction. At one point, JT really reminded me of a drug addict in his addiction to being with the deadgirl: not leaving the room ever, giving up all other aspects of his life, including his relationships with real people, etc.

The cinematography is quite amazing for an independent film: light when it needs to be, grainy, gritty, and dank when it needs that. Also, for actors I have never really seen before, the cast definitely pulled off the intensity that was required by the storyline.

Overall it was quite awesome, even though the ideas presented were twisted to the point of being insane, though I'm pretty sure I would rather watch "Garbage Pail Kids" 10 times in a row before I would watch this ONCE with my parents.

Final Score - 7/10

And Yet 4 More Quick Reviews

In case anyone is curious, I've been doing quick reviews lately because of the high volume of movies I've seen in the last few days...blame it on my newly discovered Redbox Addiction


The Men Who Stare at Goats
Comedy
George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Spacey
Directed by Grant Heslov

McGregor Plays Bob Wilton, a reporter looking for a good story while waiting for his pass into Iraq (where all the 'good' stories are). He stumbles across Lyn Cassady, an ex-soldier of the "New Earth Army," a secret sect trying to develop psychic super soldiers in the 70's and 80's.

This movie was divided into 2 separate segments for me: the first hour, and the rest of it. I really enjoyed the first part, but I thought the rest of it really dragged on and seemed like it was completely pointless. Clooney was awesome, but when isn't he? The flashbacks with the New Earth Army were definitely the highlight, and I wish there could have been more development there.

Final Score - 6/10


Ninja Assassin
Action
Rain (aka Jung Jihoon), Naomie Harris
Directed by James McTeigue

A ninja (Raizo) turns his back on his clan and the "orphanage" that raised him, causing conflicts between him, his former allies, and their new marks.

The title is kind of redundant if you think about it...aren't ALL ninjas assassins? Also, why is the entire movie in English, even the parts that take place in Japan where everyone is Japanese? I guess subtitles have no place in an American action movie, so I'll give them a break. The gore is very obviously CG for the most part...I think Kill Bill definitely handled that better. Well, enough about the bad, now for the good: The action scenes (and there are a ton) are quite well made, even if there is a lot of CG. The flashbacks to the Ninja Training were the best parts of the movie, in my opinion. There isn't much story to speak of, but who goes to a Ninja movie for the storyline anyway?

Final Score - 7.5/10

Leap Year
Romantic Comedy
Amy Adams, Matthew Goode
Directed by Anand Tucker

After dating her boyfriend for 4 years without becoming engaged, a frustrated woman (Anna - Adams) follows him to Ireland, where there is a tradition that on February 29th, a woman is "allowed" to propose to a man. There, she meets Declan, a pub owner. Misadventures ensue as they try to get anna to Dublin before the 29th.

Overall it was a very average chick flick. Nothing surprising at all...I really could have told you the entire storyline and ending from just the trailer, but then again originality was never part of romantic comedies. However, Amy Adams is always entertaining, if nothing else than a pretty face to look at for 90 minutes, even if her character is ready to give up a four year relationship to marry a guy she met a few days ago....was the a spoiler? cause I'm pretty sure everyone knew it would happen. Also, I LOVE the scenery in the whole movie...Ireland is really a beautiful country. Overall a decent crowd-pleaser and just a relaxing flick

Final Score - 5/10


From Paris With Love
Action / Thriller
John Travolta, Johnathan Rhys Meyers
Directed by Pierre Morel

In Paris, the young assistant to the US Ambassador (James Reece - Meyers) becomes involved with Charlie Wax (Travolta), an American super spy, in an attempt to foil a terrorist plot.

Right away I can say that this was a pleasant surprise, as when I saw trailers for it I wasn't too excitied about seeing it. I wasn't a huge fan of Johnathan's character, but luckily Travolta made up for it with his very cool Wax character. The storyline was actually pretty decent for an action movie. Also, I tend to get easily bored by action movies, but this one had me totally engaged for the entire run.

Final Score - 8.5/10

5 More Quickie Reviews

Knight and Day
Action / Comedy
Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz
Directed by James Mangold

June Havens (Diaz) is accidentally brought into a massive conspiracy with the (crazy?) secret agent Roy Miller (Cruise) in the center of it.
If you like Tom Cruise, you need to see this movie, because he really owns it. He is quite cool as the super charismatic and questionably nutty agent. It is definitely an action movie, though, and the storyline feels like it was pasted on after the idea of teaming up a secret agent with a normal girl and throwing them into these crazy situations. It's a pretty fun movie that doesn't take itself too seriously and doesn't ask forgiveness for blatant plot holes and just assumes the audience will roll with it.
Final Score - 6.5/10

Shutter Island
Thriller / Mystery
Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley
Directed by Martin Scorsese

In the 1950's, two US Marshals (Teddy - DiCaprio and Chuck - Ruffalo) are sent to Shutter Island, a home for the worst kind of criminally insane criminals, to find an escaped patient. When a hurricane hits while they are on the island, dark conspiracies are revealed as Teddy faces his dark past. The storm may not be the only thing keeping them on Shutter Island...

Very enjoyable movie, but a little too long. It felt like there was a bit of filler which could easily have been removed to eliminate 20 minutes or so. The filler was the only thing that kept this from a 10 for me, as the acting, writing, directing, cinematography, music, etc were all top-notch. I -kind of- guessed the ending at the beginning, but there were some details that definitely surprised me, and I wouldn't mind giving it a second viewing.

Final Score - 9/10

The Crazies
Horror
Timothy Olyphant, Radha Mitchell
Directed by Breck Eisner

A plane crash in a small Iowa town releases a disease into the water which causes its victims to become criminally insane before dying. Avoiding "crazies," other survivors, and the government blockades, David (Olyphant), his wife (Mitchell), and a few others attempt to reach Cedar Rapids where rescue may await.

This movie was a pretty pleasant surprise. Don't be fooled by the silly sounding title, the film is quite serious. You could consider this a zombie movie, and it kind of is. However, the "zombies" of this movie are just insane people with veiny rotten faces. They can talk, run, drive, and use guns, making them extra deadly.
I usually don't care for the type of zombie movie where "PEOPLE are the true monsters" (this is one), but it pulls off that sub-genre quite well without being overly annoying. It dragged a bit at times but overall it was satisfying...even the ending.

Final Score - 8.5/10

Sorority Row
Horror (Slasher)
Briana Evigan, Leah Pipes, Rumer Willis
Directed by Stewart Hendler

After a prank leads a college student to accidentally murder one of their "sisters," 5 girls of Theta Pi Sorority hide the body and swear each other to secrecy in the style of "I know what you did last summer." 8 Months later, as graduation occurs, strange messages are received by the sisters as people start to die around them.

Quite typical college slasher flick. A bunch of hot girls and frat guys party and drop dead. I'm glad they didn't go with the super cliche (by now) ending of "the killer is chasing her but it turns out she WAS the killer!!" end, but I really didn't like what they did with the end. It felt like it didn't make any sense and the murderer was "that" person ONLY so that the audience would never have guessed the true identity of the killer before the end. In reality though, I totally called it...I'm getting way too familiar with typical film maker red herrings...

Final Score - 5.5/10

The Road
Drama
Viggo Mortensen, Charlize Theron, Kodi Smit-McPhee
Directed by John Hillcoat

In this post-apocalyptic world, there is no food, no electricity, no vehicles, no animals, no trees, and no hope. The sky is perpetually gray and civilization ceases to exist in any form. A man (Mortensen) travels with his son (Smit-McPhee) south towards the coast where there may or may not be hope. Along the way, the encounter vicious cannibals, other scavengers, deserted towns, and corpses of those who gave up. Knowing he is dying, the man attempts to teach his son how to survive while retaining some shred of humanity.

As soon as I was finished with this movie, all I could think was Wow...I can't remember the last time I saw such a bittersweet movie. From beginning to end, depression and a sense of existential worthlessness are the only feelings. Sure from time to time there are highlights, but they are quickly shot down by a new problem. In a world where suicide is the best option for every scenario, what is there to live for?
The movie never says why the world ended, and it actually doesn't really matter. The only clue is the ocassional earthquakes, but I don't know why that would end the world
EVERYTHING about this movie is amazing: the setting, acting, writing, cinematography, music, storyline, etc are all top-notch. Some say that the film is slow, and they may be right, but at no point did I feel bored.
This film embodies the same feeling of hopelessness that Grave of the Fireflies gives off...Turns out post-apocalyptia isn't as fun as Mad Max, Zombieland, or Fallout 3 would have us believe.

Final Score - 10/10

3 Quickie Reviews

I've seen a few movies lately but it is really hard to be motivated when I'm almost certain I'm only writing this to myself. Because of this, I have some quick reviews:

Toy Story 3
Animated / Comedy
Voices of Tim Allen, Tom Hanks, Joan Cusack, etc
Directed by Lee Unkrich

No need to explain what this is about since unless you've been living under a rock for the last 10 years, you have probably heard of Toy Story. I definitely grew up with Toy Story, especially since my friend and I frequented Mr. Gatti's Pizza and the room we sat in played it constantly. However, I was not crazy about Toy Story 2. Luckily, the third one picked back up again. There was about a 5 minute segment in the middle where I thought it dragged, and this is the only thing preventing it from a perfect score, really. I was ultimately satisfied, though slightly depressed by the ending.
Final Score - 9.5/10

Hot Fuzz
Comedy / Action / British
Simon Pegg, Nick Frost
Directed by Edgar Wright

This is easily one of my favorite movies of all time. I've seen it probably around 15 times now but it NEVER gets old. I can always find new things to appreciate about it, and showing it to someone who hasn't seen it is a real joy.
Final Score - 10/10

Voices
Independent Horror / Korean
A Bunch of Koreans
Directed by Ki-hwan Oh

Yet another of the After Dark Horrorfest films, this Korean movie was in the third run of ADHF. Honestly, I don't know what to think about it. It is extremely psychological with an interpretive ending...though come to think of it the entire movie itself is interpretive. Is it psychosis? Angel of Death? Curse? Disease? it's anyone's guess. I really need to see it again to get a more accurate score, but for now...
Semi-Final Score - 6.5/10

"The Ministers"

Movie Reviewed Today: The Ministers

Genre: Action / Mystery

Starring: John Leguizamo
Florencia Lozano
Harvey Keitel

Director: Frank Reyes

A New York City detective (Celeste - Florencia Lozano) searches for "the ministers," who murdered her father in front of her years ago, and who are still killing. She unwittingly becomes involved with one of the killers (Dante - John Leguizamo).

I came into this movie with low expectations. Nearly every review I saw of it made it look pretty bad, but I will watch pretty much any movie regardless of what the reviewers say. Unfortunately, I ended up having to agree with those reviews.

The acting in this movie just felt really awkward most of the time. Every time Harvey Keitel was on screen it seemed like they just shoved him in front of the camera and threw lines at him without ever letting him see a script. The one scene I'm talking about in particular is when he is crying and begging Celeste to not go...man, it was just embarrassing to watch. John Leguizamo was decent most of the time, but at other times it seemed like he was just goofing around.

The storyline was cluttered and confusing. It really felt like the movie was trying to be a mash-up of Boondock Saints, Se7en, and other crime movies that involve religion. There were too many things going on at once, and none of the elements ended up working.

The ending was HORRIBLE!! I know they were -trying- to be dramatic with it but it just came off seeming un-needed, forced, and cheap. Even if the rest of the movie was passable, the end simply destroys it.

Overall it was an -okay- movie until the ending completely demolishes it.

Final Score - 3/10

"New Moon"

Today's Review: The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Genre: Drama / Fantasy / Teen Angst

Starring: Kristen Stewart
Taylor Lautner
Robert Pattinson

Director: Chris Weitz

For anyone not familiar with the Twilight story, it is a pretty simple (and pretty cliched now) premise about a love affair between a vampire (Edward) and a human (Bella). In this chapter, Bella reconnects with her childhood friend (Jacob) after Edward decides he has to leave town with his family and never see Bella again. The two main conflicts of the film are 1) A love triangle between Bella, Edward, and Jacob and 2) Dealing with Victoria, the vampire who wants Bella dead after the Cullens (Edward's family) killed her boyfriend in the previous movie.

I'll say this right away, I think the Twilight series is far overrated by its fans, but far underrated by its critics. I'll just go right into the good vs bad.

The Good:

-The setting. I REALLY love the small town in the middle of the northwest US forest setting, and I think it was a perfect place to have all this occur.

-The special effects. Sure it was pretty obvious -when- there was CG, but it was still handled pretty well and not overdone.

-The characters. I definitely have some complaints about a few of them, but most are pretty intriguing. In particular I thought Alice, Jacob, and the Valteri were far more interesting than Edward and Bella. In turn, the acting is pretty decent also. Say what you want about Kristen Stewart, but she knows how to play the mopey teen quite convincingly.

The Bad:

-The cliche. Don't you miss when vampires used to be evil? Nowadays we have Twilight, True Blood, the Vampire Diaries, The Gates, countless novels cashing in on Twilight's success...the list goes on. I really miss the days of Buffy and Angel when there were only one or two good vampires in the WORLD.

-The vampire rules. Here are the "physics" for vampires in this world:
~They are almost invincible. Sunlight and staking won't kill them. They're too damned strong!! They have to be completely obliterated to be killed...like completely dismembered or burned to a cinder. This means it would probably be impossible for a human to kill a vampire in this world because they are also super strong and SUPER fast.
~In the sunlight, they don't die. Their skin simply shimmers. You probably already knew this because it is the only thing that the Twilight critics ever complain about.
~I'm fairly certain that simply being bitten by a vampire without being killed will turn a person into one...inconvenient
~ Many vampires have extra powers. Future visions, mind-reading, and other psychic things
~There is a truce between vampires and werewolves (though they arent really werewolves, they are shifters. werewolves need a full moon to change). The wolves protect humans and cannot harm vampires unless they break the truce.
Simply put, the vampires are too overpowered.

-The ANGST!! My god, after Edward leaves Bella, she mopes in her room for like four months! She is completely prepared to throw her life away for some guy she met a few months ago. Edward is even worse. He's been around for ~119 years but he is completely prepared to die just because this girl he met recently may or may not be dead. These crazy teens and their "all or nothing" attitudes... I literally had to facepalm when Edward told Bella "you are my only reason to go on living." Sure that sounds romantic to all the clueless 13 year old girls watching, but what the hell was his reason for living four months ago?


Like I said before, the fans need to shut up and the critics need to shut up. Overall I thought New Moon, like Twilight, was not "God's gift to movie watchers," but was still a decent film that I don't regret watching.

Final score - 7/10

"Trick 'r Treat"

Movie reviewed today: Trick 'r Treat

Genre: Horror / Independent / Compilation / Comedy?

Starring: Dylan Baker
Anna Paquin
Brian Cox

Director: Michael Dougherty

Trick 'r Treat is a horror compilation movie, similar to the style of Creepshow and Tales from the Crypt. It tells four interwoven stories all set on the same night of Halloween:
1) A murderous school principal continues a crazy tradition with his son
2) A group of kids, eager to scare an outsider with a town urban legend, get the tables turned
3) Pressured by her friends, a virgin looks for her "first," but things are not as they appear
4) A Halloween Scrooge is attacked by a vicious supernatural trick-or-treater

I bought this movie spontaneously without reading any reviews or knowing anything about it...something I almost never do. I was not disappointed.

On an initial surface-level viewing, Trick 'r Treat is a fun experience. However, where it truly shines is slightly below the surface. One of the coolest aspects of this film is all the "hidden" things to find. It isn't exactly hard to understand, but there are enough ambiguities that one can theorize about certain events. Also, on a second viewing it is very interesting to see characters you may not have noticed before be around at certain times...hence the "interwoven" adjective in the synopsis. It's hard to explain, but you get the idea.

The cast isn't exactly triple-A, but they aren't unknowns either. It was weird to see Anna Paquin again after watching two seasons of True Blood and having her not talking with a southern accent. Most of the music is original score and fits very well with the atmosphere of the film. There are a few licensed songs, but for the most part they are appropriate where they show up.

It's really hard to review this movie because I can't explain most of the things I really liked about it without massive spoilers.

A cult classic in the making, this is probably the best Halloween-based movie I have ever seen, and I will definitely be busting this out next October 31st and each one thereafter.

Final Score - 9.5/10

"The Abandoned"

Movie: The Abandoned

Genre: Independent Horror / Psychological

Starring: Anastasia Hille
Karel Roden

Director: Nacho Cerda (sweet name, I know)

One of the original "After Dark Horrorfest: 8 Films to Die For," (ADHF) and the only one to get a nationwide release in theaters, The Abandoned tells the story of an American movie producer (Marie) who receives word that she has inherited a house and land in the back woods of Russia. She sets off to examine the property, which she has no interest in keeping, apparently just out of curiosity. There she meets a man claiming to be her fraternal twin brother (Nicolai), but the house appears to have its own plans for both of them. Their birthday nearing, they prepare to face their dark past.

This was my second time seeing this movie, and for some reason the first time I saw it I got the complete wrong idea about what happened at the end. It is way more psychological than your run-of-the-mill haunted house movie. There are only 2 or 3 "phantoms" in the movie that don't show up very often, so most of the "scares" are through the suspense of not knowing when the next horrible thing is going to happen.

I really love the setting of this film. The dark woods, withered house, and misty lake all contribute to the chilling atmosphere...you couldn't really ask for a better set for a movie such as this.

There aren't that many special effects, but for the most part they are above average. The makeup on the crazy ghost zombie things is very convincing.

The acting is quite good for an independent film full of unknowns. There are really only two full characters in the movie, all others besides Marie and Nicolai can easily be considered extras (except maybe the main villain ghost thing, which gets a few minutes of screen time). I'm not exactly sure how good of an actor Karel Roden (Nicolai) is because of his Russian accent, but he appears to be acceptable.

The storyline was not my favorite, but when everything came together it ended up being a solid independent horror flick, definitely one of the better ADHF films.

Final Score - 8/10



P.S.
I do realize that my average movie score is far above the 5 that it "technically" should be at if I was a far reviewer. This is for two reasons:
1) I tend to enjoy most movies: even if they are widely regarded as "bad," I can still find something to like in all of them
2) Since I started this blog, I haven't seen any horrible ones.
I was considering seeing Jonah Hex over the weekend, but the reviews scared me away. I have a feeling they saved me from wasting money at 80 minutes.

Hiatus

JUST in case there is anyone reading this, I thought I'd let you know that I haven't posted anything in the last few days because of a combination of business and laziness.

Viewed movies include The Abandoned, Trick 'R Treat, and Twilight: New Moon. They'll be reviewed either tomorrow or the next day

"Dead Snow"

Movie Watched Today: Dead Snow

Genre: Independent Horror / Comedy?

Starring: A bunch of Norwegians

Director: Tommy Wirkola

A group of medical students head to a cabin in the middle of some snowy mountains for a drunken sex-filled holiday from school. Little did they know, the mountain range was where a Nazi company escaped to and vanished at the end of WWII. Now they will face....Nazi Zombies!!!

*Disclaimer: The movie is in Norwegian with English Subtitles. I don't know if they dubbed it or not, but I don't really care. I like dubbed anime, but I HATE dubbed live-action.*

The premise of the movie actually makes it sound quite comedic. I mean, how serious can Nazi Zombies be? Even people on the imdb forums claim this is on-par with Shaun of the Dead in terms of Zombie Comedy. However, I definitely did not see it that way. Other than a few choice fight scenes, the movie had a quite serious tone.

The story is slightly above-average for a zombie movie. At it's heart, it is a "watch these kids get terrorized by the undead" movie, but there are a few nice bits that set it apart. The back story of why the zombies are there is way more in-depth than the normal "here are zombeeees, they wanna eat you!!!" cliche. In other words, it isn't a cliched zombie movie...I feel like I'm being redundant now.

The zombies themselves are not as dumb as normal ones, but not too bright either. They can run and use weapons such as knives and clubs, but that's about as far as their intelligence goes. Their makeup is really good, and they didn't just smear some blood over a normal guy: they actually gave them all rotting parts and so forth.

The special effects are quite good. I'm not sure if they used any CG gore or not, because it all looked pretty "real" (as real as movie gore can look). There are some really sick scenes also, so hopefully hardcore film violence doesn't gross you out. The director must have some intestines fetish or something because everyone and their mom gets their guts ripped out in some odd way. There are disembowelings, decapitations, stabbings, eye-gougings, shootings, etc. It really is a horror-violence hat trick.

I'm horrible at judging acting by people speaking a foreign language, but I was pretty convinced of the cast's ability. There was some English spoken, usually by the nerdy fat movie buff in the movie (who had a really good Scwarzenegger impression, by the way) but other than that it was pure Norwegian, which sounded quite cool

I definitely enjoyed Dead Snow, but then again I'm a sucker for zombie movies, and independent horror in general.

If you like zombie movies, you will love this. Subtract 2 or 3 from the score if you don't.

Final Score - 8.5/10

"Battlestar Galactica: The Plan"

Movie Watched Today: Battlestar Galactica: The Plan

Genre: Sci-Fi / Based on TV series

Starring: The BSG cast, with a few exceptions

Director: Edward James Olmos

The synopsis given by "official" sources says that this movie reveals the Cylons' Plans from before the attack on the colonies up through the end of Season 2.

This review will be extremely short, as talking about much of it at all would be spoiling both the movie and the series.

The movie basically follows 'Number 1,' both the one on Caprica and the one in the fleet, and how they change throughout the course of the series. Unfortunately, it only covers up through season 2, so this so called "Plan" was boiled down to simply kill all humans. Nothing the audience of BSG didn't already know, right? The movie was okay, but it ended up feeling like a long string of deleted scenes from the series. If you have seen the whole series, then it is a must-see, even if there is nothing new.

Unfortunately I cannot give this a rating. Taken as a standalone movie, it is easily a 1/10. However, there is NO WAY someone who has not seen the entire series of BSG should even consider watching this.
It doesn't introduce anything new really, but it is a decent addition/companion to the series that all hardcore fans need to see.

"The A-Team"

Movie Watched Today: The A-Team

Genre: Action Comedy

Starring: Liam Neeson
Bradley Cooper
Jessica Biel
Quinton Jackson
Sharlto Copley (guy from District 9)

Director: Joe Carnahan

The A-Team consists of Hannibal (The leader), B.A. (The brawn), Face (the charismatic guy), and Murdock (the crazy pilot). I've never seen the series, but I believe this movie is set just after the show ends. After a successful mission, the A-Team is betrayed and framed. They are sentenced to 10 years in separate maximum security prisons. 6 months later, they systematically escape and go on another mission to clear their names.

To begin, I must define a concept that only one person reading this blog will understand. I did not invent this term, but I use it anyway. "CakeCakeCake" - it is the phenomena, usually applied to video games, of something creating a huge initial hubbub that gets amazing reviews across the board, but then several weeks or months later people realize that it wasn't -that- great.

The acting was all great, and I definitely don't have any gripes about that. All members of the A-team fit in nicely together. Liam Neeson was amazing as Hannibal, the militaristic ace-leader. Bradley Cooper again played the funny-man and was pretty entertaining without being overly annoying. I don't believe I ever saw Quinton Jackson in a movie before, but he makes a worthy successor to Mr. T. I really wanted to hear him saying that he pitied the fool who ___________ but no luck. Finally, Sharlto Copley, formerly the main character of District 9, shows that he wasn't just a one-hit wonder in his previous film. As Murdock, the INSANE pilot, he brings a good amount of comic relief to the movie in a different form than Face does.
Likewise the action was on-par with a high-budget summer blockbuster. Great explosions abounded, as well as several intense fight scenes.
One of the things I didn't like about this movie was the villains, honestly. There is a difference between making evil characters that the audience loves to hate and making villains be ruthlessly and relentlessly annoying. The baddies of this movie tend towards the latter.

I explained the concept of CakeCakeCake because that is what this movie did to me a little. Initially and up through the end I thought it was awesome. It was filled with exactly what it advertises: tons of explosions, shootouts, and missions. I easily would have given it a 9/10 if I was writing this from my movie theater seat. However, when I got out of the theater and began to think about it a little, I realized that it was a popcorn movie through-and-through. It is GREAT fun at the time, but in the end it is easily forgettable.

While the movie did CakeCakeCake me, it was still a fun and entertaining ride. If you are going to see a movie at the theater soon, I'd give it a hearty recommendation.

Final Score - 7.5/10

"Push"

Normally I review a movie the day I see it. However, I watched this quite late last night so I didn't really have time to come write it before sleepiness took hold, hence the delay. So...

Movie Watched Yesterday: Push

Genre: Action / Sci-fi (a little)

Starring: Chris Evans
Dakota Fanning
Camilla Belle

Director: Paul McGuigan

Set in present day Hong Kong, the world in this movie is filled with people who have powers. For simplicity's sake, they are given cute little nicknames according to what their power is. Movers can move objects with their minds, Watchers can see the future (which is constantly changing), Pushers can put thoughts in people's heads and make them do things, Shifters can make anything look like something else for a short time, Sniffers can smell objects and know everyone who has touched them & where they are, Bleeders can kill things and break TONS of glass by screaming, etc. The movie follows a mover (Nick-Chris Evans), a watcher (Cassy-Dakota Fanning) who he is supposed to help, and a pusher (Kira-Camilla Belle) who is on the run from "Division," the evil corporation who wants to control all people with powers. Kira, the former lover of Nick, is the first to ever survive an injection by a drug which is said to boost the powers of "special" people, hence she is of great interest to Division and is sought by them.

The first time I saw this movie, I really liked it. That's why it is a little odd that I definitely did not like it as much the second time around. The following are mostly gripes, but I guess I'll find a few good things to say about it.

The Good: At it's core, this is an action movie, and when there actually is action it is handled quite well. There are TONS of chases (actually it almost feels like the entire movie is one big chase scene), explosions, shooting, and some good special effects.

The Bad:
-The acting. I've seen these actors in other movies, and I KNOW they can all act, so I really don't know why it came off as so bad...it could be the writing. Every conversation that Kira was in felt VERY awkward, almost like she didn't even get to see the script until 5 minutes before shooting. Cassy was alright with conversations but came off as extremely robotic sounding when explaining certain things. Her tone was almost screaming "listen up, audience. I am an explainor, watch me explain." Nick was quite un-serious the entire time even when facing certain death, but that's kind of Chris Evans's acting style anyway.
-The plot. They did not investigate the powers enough. Even though there is this colorful Hong Kong world they are in with these crazy powers all over the place, the movie ends up being a simple "smash-and-grab / run away from the evil corporation" flick. It really could have been soooooooo much more.
-The pacing. When there isn't action going on, the movie definitely drags. They should have made the in-between-action scenes more interesting (AKA more character development)
-The ending. Sure, the big bad guy dies, but there is ZERO closure with any of the main characters. None whatsoever. Their plan pretty much succeeded, but what now? It's almost as if they wanted to make more but ran out of money (*cough*Babylon AD*cough*)

Would I watch it again? Yeah, eventually. I wouldn't recommend spending money to see it though.

Final Score - 4/10

"Fantastic Mr. Fox"

Movie Watched Today: Fantastic Mr. Fox

Genre: Animation/Comedy

Starring Voices of: George Clooney
Meryl Streep
Jason Schwartzman
Bill Murray
Michael Gambon

Director: Wes Anderson

A fox, formerly a bird thief, tries to keep living a straight life. He has a family, a job with the newspaper, and a fancy new house in a strong tree. Unfortunately his tree overlooks the farms of Boggis, Bunce, and Bean (one short, one fat, one mean), three of the meanest farmers in the world. Along with his Badger friend, Mr. Fox plans one last big heist: stealing from all three men. Unfortunately, they don't just roll over and take it, and Mr. Fox is soon in quite a predicament.

This movie is animated....kind of. It is done in a similar stop-motion style such as that of "The Nightmare Before Christmas," only much creepier. Honestly if I saw this movie as a kid, it probably would have given me nightmares - not because the movie is scary, but the animation itself is quite terrifying, in my humble opinion.

For those of you who know me, you are aware that I am not a big fan of what I call "artsy films," and Wes Anderson is a major creator of these. Such movies as Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, and The Darjeeling Limited are all critically acclaimed films that I really didn't care for...maybe it's just me. SOME parts of Mr. Fox are quite reminiscent of these previously listed movies, but somehow it is not as annoying.

I had low expectations after the first few minutes. Even when the movie was over I really didn't know what to think about it. However, after letting it marinade in my brain for a few hours, I reached the conclusion that the movie was pretty good.

The Good: George Clooney definitely made Mr. Fox a more intriguing character than he would have been had anyone else done the voice over. I also thought Franklin Bean was an entertaining (and quite vicious) villain. Too bad Boggis and Bunce weren't as interesting. Also Willem Dafoe was awesome as The Rat.
Two great scenes that stand out to me are when Mr. Fox is making the final plan and calling everyone by their latin names, and the part at the end with the wolf (Canis Lupus!), though don't ask me why.
I loved that the movie had extremely dirty language but still got a PG rating---the solution: replace every place where a swear word was used with the word "curse." GENIUS! Someone can just say "What the curse are you talking about?" Adults can fill in the blank and kids don't know what he meant. Very original.
For a technical compliment, the music and scenery were also quite good.

The Bad: Most characters that are not Mr. Fox are not very interesting. The movie is not lying about being about Mr. Fox Was it just me or did his wife only have about 4 lines in the entire movie, all of which were extremely dry and monotoned? Mr. Fox's son was also terribly annoying as the angsty teen fox. Also like I said before, the animation is horrifying.

Overall Fantastic Mr. Fox was *just* shy of being fantastic, but I'd definitely give it a recommendation, especially if you like Wes Anderson. I would probably watch it again, but not until after the nightmares stop.

Final Score - 7.5/10

"Dark Ride"

Movie watched today: Dark Ride

Genre: Independent Horror / Camp

Starring: Jamie Lynn-Sigler
That fat kid from The Sandlot
A bunch of unknowns

Director: Craig Singer


At an amusement park, two twin girls enter the "Dark Ride," one of those amusement park houses of horror where you go along a track and stuff pops out at you, and are killed by a madman. 15 years later, he escapes from an insane asylum and heads back to his killing grounds just as a group of college kids are about to illegally spend the night in the Dark Ride. Pretty typical "psycho kills stupid teens" premise.

For those of you who have never heard of it, this movie is out of the original "After Dark Horrorfest - 8 Films to Die For" set. They usually get slammed by critics, but I tend to enjoy them, both the campy ones and the serious ones. This one tends to land on the campy side, IMO.

Overall it was pretty enjoyable. Any real gripes I could come up with would just be nit-picking. Even though most of the cast is made up of unknowns (except the girl from The Sopranos and the guy from The Sandlot) but for the most part they all did an acceptable job. If you like slasher films, you will probably like it. The premise is cliche, but there were some decent twists that I didn't really see coming.

Final Score - 6/10

"Die Hard 2: Die Harder"

Movie Watched Today: Die Hard 2: Die Harder

Genre: Action

Starring: Bruce Willis
William Sadler

Director: Renny Harlin


Bruce Willis does it again...he manages to be in the middle of a gigantic terrorist plot at a very inopportune moment. Instead of a 40-story building, however, this time they seize control of an airport during a busy travel night while there is a huge storm brewing. They threaten to crash all of the planes unless their demands are met.

If you've seen the first Die Hard, there is no need to summarize any further. Action ensues and John McClaine inevitably thwarts the bad guys, and that is NOT a spoiler (don't even act like it is...).

I will admit right now that I SUCK at reviewing action movies. I have a definite pass/fail grading system with them, and I find it very hard to compare them to other movies. I'll just say that "Die Hard 2" gets a passing rating. It's even hard to say whether it is better or worse than the first film of the franchise.

I thought Hans Gruber was a more interesting villain then Colonel Stuart, but thats about where the comparison ends. If you like action movies, you will love this. If you liked "Die Hard," you will love this. If you do not like action movies or "Die Hard," chances are very good that you will not like this.

That is all.

"Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time"

Today's Movie: Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

Genre: Action/Adventure

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal
Gemma Arterton
Ben Kingsley
Alfred Molina

Director: Mike Newell


If you haven't played the video game series that this is based on, it's okay because they are only very loosely related. Here's what you need to know: "Desten" was an orphan, now he's a prince with two brothers, a kingly father, and a 'loyal' uncle. There's a dagger that allows the user to turn back time. Battles, betrayal, chases, and much adventuring ensues.

First off I'll say this: judging this only as a movie based off a video game it gets 10/10 right off the bat. For a game-based-movie, it is easily one of the best, but honestly it doesn't take much to be better than some of the other trash that Hollywood gives us. Anyway, on to the good and the bad.

The Good: while not really AAA actors, I quite liked the cast. Jake does a pretty good job as the prince, Ben makes a decent villain, Alfred makes an amusing (and only slightly annoying) comic relief character, and the lovely Gemma is a love interest that is actually quite essential to the story (unlike the usual LINTS - Love Interest Non-Essential To Story).
The movie is also great taken as a pure adventure movie---I haven't really seen a good one of those in a loooong time.
There is a great amount of good action as well---large-scale battles, small-scale fights, riots, acrobatics, etc. A good throwback to the games.

The Bad: There are quite a few plot holes. How did they get those costumes? How did they plan that so quickly? Where did those weapons come from? Why are they all speaking English?Most of them are pretty forgivable however.
I'm also still not quite sure what I think about the ending. I usually hate the style of ending they used (cant spoil it though) but they handled it pretty effectively

Overall I was quite pleasantly surprised. I almost facepalmed when I first saw the trailer, but it pretty much broke my expectations. I give it a good recommendation if you're looking for a fun movie that isn't too serious.

Final Score - 8/10

"Adventureland"

Today's (other) Movie: Adventureland

Genre: Comedy/Drama

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg
Kristen Stewart

Director: Greg Mottola

To put it simply, the movie is about a guy working at an amusement park to make money for grad school. He meets a girl there, and much drama ensues.

The two leads are both awesome. I've only seen Jesse Eisenberg in Zombieland before this (his two characters have very similar personalities) but he did pretty good in both. I also have an extreme soft spot for Kristen Stewart (since LONG before Twilight came out, mind you) so the movie gets some auto points for that.

The plot, while not bad, is pretty cliched. Boy meets girl. Boy thinks he loves girl but there is a lot of drama and obstacles between them. Social fallout occurs. Many people get hurt and boy & girl get separated. They eventually reconcile. I called it almost the instant the movie started.

It has a pretty sweet soundtrack, but since the movie brags about it on the cover (which is pretty rare) I would expect it to be.

Overall "Adventureland" is alright, but it's nothing special. Again, the plot is pretty cliched, and for a 'comedy' it isn't very funny.

Final Score - 6.5/10

"Let the Right One In"

To start off, I'll explain the scoring system...It will be on a 10-point scale, 0 being horrendous and 10 being astronomically awesome. Pretty self-explanatory, eh? At the beginning I'll list the genre, who is in it, who directed it, and a short summary (of which will usually be VERY short to avoid spoilers of any kind).


Today's Review: Let the Right One In

Genre: Horror/Drama

Starring: Kare Hedebrant
Lina Leandersson

Director: Tomas Alfredson


I'd make a wager that 99% of you (considering the off-chance that there are 100 people reading this, 99 of you) would not have heard about this movie. That would probably be because 1) it was never released in theaters here and 2) it is from Sweden. Fear not, however! It is being remade over here in the good old USA, so expect it to be a big letdown to all of its current fans soon.

It is basically a vampire movie which is hailed as one of the "best" ever. I respectfully disagree, but I'll get to that later. It is about a young boy who is constantly being harassed in school. A mysterious girl, and someone who appears to be her father, move in to the apartment next to his, murders start to happen all over, etc. The girl is a vampire, of this there is never any doubt in the viewer's mind.

So what did I think of it? First of all, let me get this off my chest: I HATED the main character. Not just because he was a wuss that let the other kids walk all over him either. Something about his face...that super white skin, platinum hair, and the REDDEST natural lips I have ever seen. Every time he was on-screen I wanted to join the bullies who were punching him!!

Next, I know there is supposed to be something "beautiful" about the romance that develops between the two leads, but really it was terribly uncomfortable to watch two twelve year olds be all romantic with each other.

Maybe I'm missing something here, because critics and viewers alike couldn't stop praising this movie, but I didn't think it was anything special. More heart than "Underworld," more action and maturity than "Twilight," but it didn't really meet in the good middle for me. Would I watch it again? Sure, but I can't guarantee my opinion would change

Final Score: 6/10

Intro

Since I have no camera, I guess I'll be doing this instead of making videos for Youtube. Not that anyone reads anymore, right? This will basically be my realm of reviewing: a place where I will review anything I feel like...but most likely it will consist of reviews of movies, video games, and maybe some TV shows (~90% will be movies though). Depending on how lazy I am at the time, the reviews will range between a sentence or two and the length of a master's thesis. Realistically though, the lengths will be somewhere in the middle.

Every time I see a new movie, I run over to Facebook to make a 1-sentence review of it on Flixter, so I figure this will let me go more in-depth on what I thought of it. I certainly will try to write out a new review every time I see a new movie, so my frequency of new postings will range anywhere from multiple times in one day to one in a week.

I will NEVER have movie spoilers, so don't worry.

By the way, I don't discriminate on movie genres...you will see reviews of ALL kinds of movies ranging from horror exploitation films to Saturday night chick flicks...but don't expect me to look at them from the same angle :D

I also take requests, so if there is a movie anyone wants me to review, feel free to ask.

Well, so far it does feel like I am typing to a brick wall, but at least this gives me something to do for the time being. If anyone is reading this, thanks in advance!!